Tell Me

Why did I tell them? It was foolish, uncalled for, a pointless decision.

I wished for understanding and instead confused myself. I was so sure before I spoke, but the minute it left my mouth I wished to pull it back into my mind. I grabbed at the words and instead found nothing. There was only empty space. Where once the idea was concrete, unmoving, suddenly it became wild air, avoiding capture and definition. Or perhaps it was just their reaction that made me question myself.

I should have kept them in the peaceful dark. The issues are mine alone to deal with. No words from the outside should alter my decisions, no foreign thought contaminate them. The burden should not be shared when there is no benefit from sharing. I can deal with the world myself. There is no need to hurt others in the process. I care enough about them to wish them to be obliviously happy.

The input from them would not be of any help. Not much can be learned from those who do not understand. No matter how much they may try or how many times they may say they understand, never will they know enough to give the help I thought I needed. I should not have asked for something they cannot provide.

I should never have told them. I should never tell again.