Pretend

I can pretend, if that's what you'd like. After all, it's no different from what I have always done.

You want me to tell you I am happy? I will do that. Sometimes it may be true, and I really am the smiling, laughing, bubbly being that I seem to be. Other times it may not be anywhere near that. But you will never really know, because I will tell you that I am happy.

You want me to tell you that I care? I will do so. Often times I will really truly listen to your problems, fears, worries, and accomplishments. I will congratulate you or offer you advice and show you that what you feel is what I feel and that I really want to help. Sometimes I will only pretend to listen to you with the kind of attention you think you deserve. I will nod along and speak good wishes and make up some advice. But you will never know the difference because it will be what you want to hear.

You want me to try? I will try, then. I will go through the motions and learn what I need to learn. I will show that I put in effort to what I did for you. Most of the time I won't do as much as I could. I will do what is required, but I will not care enough to give it my all. Perhaps I will occasionally really dive into something. But it most likely won't be what you want me to care about. But you'll never know, because it will turn out as you required.

You can ask me if I really mean it. You can say that you know I often times pretend. But you will never really know, because only sometimes will I be telling the truth.