I wasn't there when I should have been. I should seen her morning smiles, her tired yawns, her brave face against the future. I should have held her tight when she was scared and brandished swords with her against invisible enemies. I should be able to remember her face without having to think.
I didn't know her as well as I should have. I should have asked about her favourite songs, her best friends, her biggest dreams. I should have listened to her problems, no matter what they were and given the advice I was able to give. I should have been her friend as well as her cousin.
I didn't help as much as I should have. I should have sent money, sent more prayers, sent letters everyday with my supporting love. I should have finished the thousand papers cranes to wish for a miracle. I should have brought the entire world to her cause.
I couldn't have been there. I couldn't know her as well as that. I couldn't have done everything. But I should have.
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Friday, October 14, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Chapter None
And so it was that the world burned. We never saw it coming, although all the signs were there. Perhaps it had been the many signs that caused us to not know. Instead of accepting the evidence, we chose to block them out and refused the truth that our time was coming to an end.
On that day we also burned. Our bodies grew hotter and hotter as the planet did. Like in the town of Pompeii in earth-history, some of us turned instantly to stone under the lava of the world melting around us. Others suffocated from the smoke and ash of other burning bodies. Some of us caught fire from the flames around us and were burned to death before the rest of the havoc began. The lucky few were turned instantly to ash, swirling and falling in the sky.
Others tried to escape by boarding rockets bound for the space-void. It was a fruitless effort and the ones in those ships had it the worst. They had to watch the planet and people die before them before finally noticing the heat coming from the bottoms of the ships. The flames ignited there before any other place on our planet. So the bottom melted off; the material was made for icy void conditions, not for anything like the tragedy below. The breathing-gases escaped the ships and they died not from the heat, but because they lost could no longer breathe.
I say "we" while telling this story because I too, died that that day. Somehow I was "saved" from one of the safe-boxes in the core of the planet. It was designed for the core, so it did not melt completely, but inside I was almost baked alive. It seems I am now in a permanent care facility being kept "alive" by the machines I sense around me. Even this I cannot be sure, for I cannot hear, nor see, nor feel, nor smell, nor taste. I can only think. And so, trapped in my own mind, I look back on that day with envy of the ones who burned. I would rather be dead than have only my insanity for the rest of eternity.
On that day we also burned. Our bodies grew hotter and hotter as the planet did. Like in the town of Pompeii in earth-history, some of us turned instantly to stone under the lava of the world melting around us. Others suffocated from the smoke and ash of other burning bodies. Some of us caught fire from the flames around us and were burned to death before the rest of the havoc began. The lucky few were turned instantly to ash, swirling and falling in the sky.
Others tried to escape by boarding rockets bound for the space-void. It was a fruitless effort and the ones in those ships had it the worst. They had to watch the planet and people die before them before finally noticing the heat coming from the bottoms of the ships. The flames ignited there before any other place on our planet. So the bottom melted off; the material was made for icy void conditions, not for anything like the tragedy below. The breathing-gases escaped the ships and they died not from the heat, but because they lost could no longer breathe.
I say "we" while telling this story because I too, died that that day. Somehow I was "saved" from one of the safe-boxes in the core of the planet. It was designed for the core, so it did not melt completely, but inside I was almost baked alive. It seems I am now in a permanent care facility being kept "alive" by the machines I sense around me. Even this I cannot be sure, for I cannot hear, nor see, nor feel, nor smell, nor taste. I can only think. And so, trapped in my own mind, I look back on that day with envy of the ones who burned. I would rather be dead than have only my insanity for the rest of eternity.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Those We Miss
Many were so sorely missed
Many are now sadly missed
Many will someday be missed
How horrible is the one who takes them
How wonderful the one who creates them
How passionate the one who loves them
If they could decide would they decide well?
If I could be in control would I control well?
If you could choose would you choose well?
Many were so joyously living
Many are so amazingly living
Many will be so wondrously be living
Love the life that they will have
Love the life that I will have
Love the life that you will have
Many are now sadly missed
Many will someday be missed
How horrible is the one who takes them
How wonderful the one who creates them
How passionate the one who loves them
If they could decide would they decide well?
If I could be in control would I control well?
If you could choose would you choose well?
Many were so joyously living
Many are so amazingly living
Many will be so wondrously be living
Love the life that they will have
Love the life that I will have
Love the life that you will have
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