I hate your optimistic attitude.
I hate that you find a silver lining in everything that goes wrong.
I hate your hopeful smiles, and comforting hugs.
I hate your belief in something better.
I hate how you think that everything can change.
And yet I need those things.
I hate you.
And yet I love you.
I hate it all because I am jealous of the way I used to be.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Forgive Me
I'm sorry I've abandoned you, sweet child of my words.
I left to another place and I could not bring you along. There was no place for you there among the secrets and the shadows; they would have ruined you forever. So instead I chose to leave you behind, safely hidden in my past where you were born and have always been.
I promised I would return, and so I have, but it will take time to get back what we once had. The first promise I made to you was that I would never completely leave you behind, and I fully intend to keep that promise. However, I must fight many battles to fulfill that commitment, and sometimes I lose those battles. It will be a challenge to get beyond the way I left you.
After all, abandonment is no small sin.
I left to another place and I could not bring you along. There was no place for you there among the secrets and the shadows; they would have ruined you forever. So instead I chose to leave you behind, safely hidden in my past where you were born and have always been.
I promised I would return, and so I have, but it will take time to get back what we once had. The first promise I made to you was that I would never completely leave you behind, and I fully intend to keep that promise. However, I must fight many battles to fulfill that commitment, and sometimes I lose those battles. It will be a challenge to get beyond the way I left you.
After all, abandonment is no small sin.
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