When?

When will I cross into tomorrow?

When is no longer today?

Where is the border of time to the future?

When will I stop being a child?

When will I be and the adult I was promised?

Who decides if I am old enough to be my own keeper?

When will I find that special someone?

When will I no longer be alone?

What will tell me if we are meant to be like all the stories of love?

When will I find my reason for living?

When will I know why I'm alive?

Why is it that no one has the answers to life?

The Question of Time

Shall we stand in the shadows of tomorrow

Or shall we peak into the light of today?

Will we fight for the causes of next generation's strife

Or leave it for the younger ones to figure out themselves?

Should we prepare for other days' prosperity

Or find some of the simple happiness now?

Is it worth it to change what the future may hold

Or to wait for that time and let it happen as it may?

Is the time ahead more important

Or should we live in the moment?

Sleep

I cannot sleep, it seems. I find myself once again awake when the sky is at its very darkest and sound only comes from the nocturnal creatures outside. With my bedside lamp turned on I feel as if I belong in another time when that lamp would instead a flickering candle. The glow is warm, enveloping me in its comforting light. I compose these words in a leather-bound journal reminiscent of days long past.

Still I wonder, what is it that has kept me up this night?

My mind seems empty, void of all thoughts. Perhaps it is that emptiness that keeps me awake. It is a feeling that was always so foreign to me. More recently it has come to be an ever present sensation as I lie awake in the night. It is no wonder that I would find no comfort for sleep when such a feeling lingers in my mind.

Or perhaps this empty feeling is more of a numbness. It is created by my own mind to hide the unbearable number of thoughts and ideas that lurk in my subconscious. It is a strong dose of painkillers for a suffering that no one would be able to bear. Sometimes the pressure of all the ideas does seem as if it will break me apart. If this is the reason for the numbness, I should not be surprised that my body would someday develop a defense for the blow.

As I write this out, I seem to have broken through to my pool of thoughts. It seems to be overflowing once again. the sensation of my mind once again filling up is familiar to me. I would rather have this incomprehensible mess of questions, thoughts, ideas, and plans than that numbing emptiness any day.

Perhaps now that my head is again buzzing, I may be able to sleep.

Do You Know?

Can you hear my voice when I'm calling?
Can you see my eyes when I'm crying?
Can you tell that I am wanting to run strait to you?

Do you know that I am watching?
Do you feel that I am waiting?
Do you care that I am always there, taking care of you?

When will you understand?
When will you know my call?
Will you someday know the care that I have given to only you?