Sunday, October 2, 2011

Lost Logic

My logic has left me, it seems. Like the dreams you wish to remember, it has simply disappeared.

I used to see the world in a logical point of view. Yes, I had my private artistic ramblings and rearranged ideas from the reality everyone else had, but I also had my logic. I could depend on that realism when times were tough. It was my form of optimism, in a way. Instead of seeing everything from the negative side, I saw it as it really was.

But now it seems there is only small traces. I have it for the times when I must prove a point, but otherwise it lets me struggle on my own. Though it is gone, there is no optimism to replace it. I find, instead, a more pessimistic view on the angles of the world. It is as if I am looking up from the shadows to the light that I will never reach.

The loss is affecting everything I do and everything I say. I wonder how long it will be before my companions can no longer count on me to be the mother figure I was. How long it will be before the logic will leave me completely? I fear for when that time comes. That day I will no longer be able stand without my cane of thorns beside me.

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